Twenty-two before Twenty-Three deadline...

Soooo I just realized my "Twenty-two before Twenty-three" deadline is FAST approaching! Less than two months to go til my Twenty-third birthday! This means I need to start blogging A LOT more to make my goal! My goal is to have 52 posts by February 25th 2010, one post for each week in the year. After this post, I will have only TEN posts in 2010... Meaning I need to post FORTY-TWO more times before my birthday, forty-two more posts in fifty-seven days... Practically a post a day. I can do it tho... I'm an underemployed college grad! What else have I got!?!? ;)

Tears

"I will not say, "Do not weep", for not all tears are an evil..."-Gandalf

My very first holiday letter...

My how time flies! Since 2010 was such an exciting year, FULL of adventures I decided to write my very first holiday letter to let everyone know what I’ve been up to! This year, instead of making a list of New Years resolutions I resolved to make a list of twenty-two things to do before my twenty-third birthday in February 2011. My list included a wide variety of things including: Go to Canada, Visit the ocean, Make Phi Alpha Honor Society, Participate in a Polar Plunge, Go to a drive-in movie, Go bungee jumping, Get a new tattoo, Roadtrip with my girlfriends, Audition for American Idol, Graduate college and more!

While I did not get a chance to go to Canda or visit the ocean (yet!), This past February I was inducted into the Minnesota State University, Mankato chapter of Phi Alpha Social Work Honor Society for my “outstanding scholastic achievement and commitment to service to others”. Then, in August, I was elected to serve as President for the fall semester! In March, I had the opportunity to participate with a group of my friends in the Twin Cities Polar Plunge, where participants plunged into the frigid waters of Lake Calhoun to help raise money for Special Olympics!

And while I was unable to go see a drive-in movie or go bungee jumping (yet!), in May I was able to get my new tattoo, an Irish Claddagh [Heart, Crown & Hands meaning “Love, Loyalty & Friendship” with a keyhole in the heart] with wings across my upper back. Then, in July, three of my best-girlfriends and I took off at three in the morning on an EPIC roadtrip to Milwaukee, Wisconsin so I could fulfil my dream of auditioning for American Idol!!! Even though I didn’t make it to Hollywood, I still had the time of my life and I know that there is always next year!

On December 11th , during the great Minnesota Snow-pocalypse of 2010 my most difficult, most time-consuming task was finally complete. After four and a half years of studying at Minnesota State University, Mankato, I graduated, Magna Cum Laude (with honors), with my Bachelors of Science in Social Work! I spent my last semester of college interning at Brown County Family Services, in New Ulm, MN, where I had the opportunity to work in the Children’s Unit, working on Child Protection cases. I learned SO much and loved the work I was doing helping children and their families!

My goal for the new year? To find a full-time job doing just that!
While this letter is only the tip of the iceberg for everything that happened in 2010, I am running out of time and space. :) I am so very thankful to everyone in my life who has supported me and helped me throughout this crazy year! I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas and a safe, happy, healthy New Year!

Love & Peace,
Jade Lace

Slightly terrified...

In just thirty-seven days, I will be a college graduate! Me. And not just any college grad... I will be graduating Magna Cum Laude, a.k.a I busted ass for top notch grades. I'm the president of the social work honor society, Phi Alpha, and I'm in the top fifteen percent of my graduating class. I am proud of my accomplishments but also disappointed (I missed graduating Suma Cum Laude by .02 and I never attended any college sporting events). I'm not ready for my college career to be over! I feel like I just started and now here I am ready to graduate, put on my big girl pants and join the rest of the world. And then after graduation comes the real tough stuff. Like a career. Marriage. Children. Real responsibility. I'm slightly terrified.

If I Knew...

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I saw you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will l always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope you never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't 't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out t o be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.
-Unknown

I'm...

I'm a daughter...
I'm a (baby) sister...
I'm an aunt...
I'm a great-aunt...
I'm a friend...
I'm an actress (amateur)...
I'm a singer...
I'm an impulse shopper...
I'm a babysitter...
I'm a student...
I'm a volunteer...
I'm a (hard) worker...
I'm an intern...
I'm a caregiver...
I'm a social worker (almost)...
I'm a lover...
I'm a fighter...
I'm a dreamer...
I'm a realist...
I'm an honor student...
I'm a people pleaser...
I'm a girlie-girl...
I'm a certified level 1001 firefighter...
I'm a blogger...
I'm a procrastinator...
I'm a perfectionist...
I'm a Ford girl...
I'm a reckless driver...
I'm a chocolate addict...
I am me.

If you love somebody...

I have often pondered the phrase... "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were..."

I have always thought to myself... "If you love somebody, why would you want to let them go? You're stupid, hold on to them! Don't risk it!"

But then I grew older... fell in love, got hurt, fell out of love, fell back in love, got hurt some more, did some growing up, and got hurt a few more times... and then fell in love again.

Fell in love again for good... and for bad... and for everything in between. And somewhere in all the rush I lost something very important to me... myself.

Myself... my dreams... my goals... Not intentionally of course...just neglected. I put others before myself and forgot to take care of me. I was sleepwalking through my own life.

But then I was awakened. It was like I got smacked in the stomach with a 55.12 pound block of AMPI butter! This was not how I imagined my life. This was not what I wanted. I wasn't happy. Not because of my job, not because of my family or friends...I was unhappy with me.

Me. I am my own worst enemy. Always have been. Always will be. But only I can save me from myself. All it takes is time.

Time. I am taking time to put me first. I am going to focus on myself, my dreams, my goals. It is not fair for me to ask those I love to wait for me or to change for me... So... I am letting go... and hopefully the saying is true.

Rules to Live By!

RULES TO LIVE BY IN 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. God heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come...
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank god for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
40. Live. Laugh. Love. Repeat.

Inspiration!

The following are some select quotes I found particularly interesting, inspirational or funny at the Dave Pelzer/Lee Cox Rotary Workshop I attended in Fairmont, MN on April 29th 2010.

Dave is the author of the bestselling books “A Child Called ‘It’”, “The Lost Boy” and “A Man Named Dave”. His books detail the abuse/neglect he sustained from his mother as a child, his life growing up in foster care and finally his life as an adult.

Lee Cox is the author of the book "Raised on Fear”. His book details his life story of domestic violence; Lee now owns a business that helps others with their life problems.

Dave Pelzer-“I expect nothing but greatness from you.”
Dave Pelzer-“If you have to sit and analyze ‘Am I a good person?’ You’re not.”
Dave Pelzer-“If you don’t believe in what you do, what do you believe in?”
Dave Pelzer-“Common sense-makes sense.”
Dave Pelzer-“Think with your head, speak with your heart.”
Dave Pelzer-“Hurt-people hurt people.” (AKA: Deflection)
Dave Pelzer-“Know better, do better.”
Dave Pelzer-“The time is now to act.”
Dave Pelzer-“If you’re not living up to your full potential you are cheating yourself.”
Dave Pelzer-“I know I am blessed.”
Dave Pelzer-“Cancer (child abuse) never sleeps. Get people to open up right away. The more you know about the cancer, the easier it is to defeat it.”
Dave Pelzer-“Challenge is good.”
Dave Pelzer-“Fear is okay as long as it doesn’t freeze you up.”
Dave Pelzer-“I am not about abuse. I am about resilience! Who are you? What are you about?”
Dave Pelzer-“Anything you are and do…blah, blah, blah! Just shut up and be happy!”
Dave Pelzer-“What are you trying to do? How can you help people if you don’t have YOUR life in order?”
Dave Pelzer-“Be happy NOW!”
Dave Pelzer-“Now that you know better, I EXPECT you to DO better!”
Dave Pelzer-“Everybody has JUNK in their own trunk!”
Dave Pelzer-“Some things take time…do you wanna go back to that hurt-locker again?”
Dave Pelzer-“The sooner we can open up the hurt-locker, the sooner we can move on.”
Dave Pelzer-“With maturity and time people learn. Have them think about ‘What it is’ versus ‘What is was’…”
Dave Pelzer-“You can’t carry everyone. If you had ten days to live, what would you do? You can’t save the world.”
Dave Pelzer-“Where are you at? Where are your intentions? What can we do to make it happen?”
Dave Pelzer-“You have no idea of the power you have. Everything will be fine.”
Dave Pelzer-“Never let them see you sweat. Never let them see you bleed.”
Dave Pelzer-“Never enter a situation unless you know how you are going to get out.”
Dave Pelzer-“Do everything in 3’s. Be prepared! Sometimes things just happen.”
Dave Pelzer-“Let go of your guilt! Let go of your shame! Let go of your cross, someone else can use the wood!”
Dave Pelzer-“Keep moving forward. Don’t you EVER quit your mission!”
Dave Pelzer-“Be prepared for greatness.”
Dave Pelzer-“Do whatever it is you have to do but don’t quit!”
Dave Pelzer-“I’m not going to love you any less for what you’ve done.”
Dave Pelzer-“The more you open up, the better for you.”
Dave Pelzer-“Go slow.”
Dave Pelzer-“If you aren’t struggling in a relationship, you’re divorced!”
Dave Pelzer-“Make your loved ones feel safe.”
Dave Pelzer-“Never make a life altering decision in a moment of distress.”
Dave Pelzer-“Everything will work out, 99% of the time, with time.”
Dave Pelzer-“God don’t make junk.”
Dave Pelzer-“It takes SEVENTY-THREE positives to make up for every ONE negative.”
Dave Pelzer-“People pay attention when you surprise them.”
Dave Pelzer-“No matter what you say or what you do I’m going to give you unconditional love and caring.”
Dave Pelzer-“Abuse is bad. We KNOW that!”
Dave Pelzer-“With great power comes great responsibility.”
Dave Pelzer-“Life isn’t fair. It will NEVER be fair!”
Dave Pelzer-“Whatever you’ve done to your parents will come back to you TEN FOLD when you have children! Remember that!”
Dave Pelzer-“Look for YOUR triggers: trust, food, intimacy, etc… Address those things!”
Dave Pelzer-“How do you do what you do? You should all be drug-addicts and alcoholics by now! How do you maintain your sanity?”
Dave Pelzer-“You prioritize, you program and you DO IT!”
Dave Pelzer-“Whatever issue they’re facing or you’re dealing with is ONLY for the NOW!”
Dave Pelzer-“Always do something PROACTIVE!”
Dave Pelzer-“Work is hard…Work is good.”
Dave Pelzer-“It’s gonna be hard at first. If it was easy everyone would do it.”
Dave Pelzer-“Everyone has a gift! USE IT!”
Dave Pelzer-“Married women live longer than men because they purge their feelings often and carry less stress.”
Dave Pelzer-“When you wipe your butt and flush the toilet, it all goes away!”
Dave Pelzer-“The bedroom is for two things only: one of them is sleeping!”
Dave Pelzer-“Sleep! Have fun! How many more seasons do you have left? How will you live them out?”
Dave Pelzer-“What do you love? Do what you love! Take care of yourself!”
Dave Pelzer-“Look for the signs! There are ALWAYS signs!”
Dave Pelzer-“Oprah get off the crack!”
Dave Pelzer-“Love never ends and the lessons never end.”
Dave Pelzer-“No one’s perfect. What you see is what you get.”
Dave Pelzer-“Wait for the light and swing back.”
Dave Pelzer-“Keep the faith!”
Dave Pelzer-“If it’s challenging now it will be good later! If it’s good now it will be challenging later!”
Dave Pelzer-“When you think ‘This sucks!’, EMBRACE the ‘SUCK’!

Lee Cox-“It’s not a good idea to tell a woman on the first date, ‘Hey, I’ve beaten a few women in my day but you’re gonna be the exception…”
Lee Cox-“I’m not really broken…I just thought I was…”

Just a few things about me...

1. I have a list of twenty-two goals/things to do before I turn twenty-three. I have successfully completed SIX things (audition for American Idol, road trip with girlfriends, new tattoo, polar plunge, make Phi Alpha & get engaged). EIGHT things are in-progress (graduate college, goal weight, finish writing a song, read the bible, blog more [WORKING ON THAT RIGHT NOW!], re-learn guitar, volunteer more and learn to dance). I intend to finish FIVE more this August (bungee jump, get my motorcycle permit, go to Canada, go horseback riding, and go to a drive-in movie). The final THREE things I will finish this winter (Get my own place, swim in the ocean, and learn to ice skate). It feels great to LITERALLY be living my dreams, however small some of them may be. :)

2. My biggest dream is to somehow make enough money to pay off all of my parents debt so they can live their dream; to retire and travel around the United States in their camper!

3. I always have my toenails painted. ALWAYS. Today I have them painted "Patent Leather Black".

4. I would be lost without my cell phone. I send/receive between two and four hundred text messages a day. Mostly to/from: Derek, Hannah, Jessica, Dan and Jeri. If Holly had text messaging she would be on this list also. :P

5. I could spend hours and hours picniking (picnik.com) photos. It is quite possibly my favorite website! I love making my pictures look flawless and adding fun quotes/edits to them!

6. I am too open, I can talk for hours to almost anybody. This can lead to trouble, not only in my punctuality but also in my personal life. I really need to learn to keep some things private, not everyone wants/needs to know about the skeletons in my closet.

7. I love my family. No matter how crazy and messed up they are, I will always be there for them. No matter what. Blood is thicker than water.

8. I own like twenty-five bras. All of them from Victoria Secret. That's like $1,000 worth of bras. As you may have guessed I am a Platinum Angel Card holder. :)

9. My biggest fears are: failure, rejection, not making a difference in the world, my parents dieing and werewolves.

10. If I could get by in life with a career in singing I would do it in a heartbeat. Not to become a millionaire or anything, if I could just afford to pay my bills and just barely scrape by I would totally do it. Singing is my passion. Music is in my blood.

11. I feel extremely blessed to have the amazing girlfriends I have at this point in my life. They are always there to guide me and catch me if I fall. I would not be the woman I am today if it were not for them.

12. I love to read. Especially fiction. I wish Hogwarts was a real school. I also wish I were a vampire... Now that would be an EPIC book! Vampire-wizards and vampire-witches! Throw in some fairies and hobbits and I'm SOLD!!!

13. I am the youngest of six children. My oldest sister is twenty years my senior. My closest sibling (my brother) is ten years my senior. Because of this, I have always acted much too old for my age.

14. I have a knack for saying obscene things in the presence of old ladies and families with small children. Rather loudly I might add...and quite often in family restaurants. Mexican Village is never the same after I leave there...or Culvers for that matter.

15. I love animated movies. They are my favorite! My top three are: Up!, Horton Hears A Who and Madagascar (1 & 2)!!!

16. I am a terrible driver. Absolutely terrible. I multitask, text, speed, break too abruptly, accelerate too quickly and am generally just plain inattentive. I must have a whole flock of guardian angels flying after my Ford Focus.

17. I have six nieces, six nephews and one great-nephew. They mean the WORLD to me! There isn't anything I wouldn't do to help these kids! I love all of them like they were my own!

18. I am addicted to shopping. I have the Target credit card bill to prove it.

19. I love jewel tone colors. Especially purple and teal.

20. My favorite shoes are my 4 3/4 inch black hooker boots from Victoria Secret). So sexy...and surprisingly easy to walk in!

21. I love all kinds of music except screaming heavy metal and most rap. My favorite music to listen to is rock. My favorite music to sing is country.

22. I have three tattoos. Someday I hope to cover my whole back in tattoos. If tattoos were more readily acceptable in the workplace I would maybe even cover my whole body.

23. I am a carb-aholic. I fucking love carbs.

24. I swear like a sailor! It makes my day when my mom swears cause she sounds so funny when she does it! Mom-"I told her she can fuck whoever she wants! And I said 'fuck' too!" Me-"Go Mom!"

25. I care too much about what others think.