I'm a daughter...
I'm a (baby) sister...
I'm an aunt...
I'm a great-aunt...
I'm a friend...
I'm an actress (amateur)...
I'm a singer...
I'm an impulse shopper...
I'm a babysitter...
I'm a student...
I'm a volunteer...
I'm a (hard) worker...
I'm an intern...
I'm a caregiver...
I'm a social worker (almost)...
I'm a lover...
I'm a fighter...
I'm a dreamer...
I'm a realist...
I'm an honor student...
I'm a people pleaser...
I'm a girlie-girl...
I'm a certified level 1001 firefighter...
I'm a blogger...
I'm a procrastinator...
I'm a perfectionist...
I'm a Ford girl...
I'm a reckless driver...
I'm a chocolate addict...
I am me.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
If you love somebody...
I have often pondered the phrase... "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were..."
I have always thought to myself... "If you love somebody, why would you want to let them go? You're stupid, hold on to them! Don't risk it!"
But then I grew older... fell in love, got hurt, fell out of love, fell back in love, got hurt some more, did some growing up, and got hurt a few more times... and then fell in love again.
Fell in love again for good... and for bad... and for everything in between. And somewhere in all the rush I lost something very important to me... myself.
Myself... my dreams... my goals... Not intentionally of course...just neglected. I put others before myself and forgot to take care of me. I was sleepwalking through my own life.
But then I was awakened. It was like I got smacked in the stomach with a 55.12 pound block of AMPI butter! This was not how I imagined my life. This was not what I wanted. I wasn't happy. Not because of my job, not because of my family or friends...I was unhappy with me.
Me. I am my own worst enemy. Always have been. Always will be. But only I can save me from myself. All it takes is time.
Time. I am taking time to put me first. I am going to focus on myself, my dreams, my goals. It is not fair for me to ask those I love to wait for me or to change for me... So... I am letting go... and hopefully the saying is true.
I have always thought to myself... "If you love somebody, why would you want to let them go? You're stupid, hold on to them! Don't risk it!"
But then I grew older... fell in love, got hurt, fell out of love, fell back in love, got hurt some more, did some growing up, and got hurt a few more times... and then fell in love again.
Fell in love again for good... and for bad... and for everything in between. And somewhere in all the rush I lost something very important to me... myself.
Myself... my dreams... my goals... Not intentionally of course...just neglected. I put others before myself and forgot to take care of me. I was sleepwalking through my own life.
But then I was awakened. It was like I got smacked in the stomach with a 55.12 pound block of AMPI butter! This was not how I imagined my life. This was not what I wanted. I wasn't happy. Not because of my job, not because of my family or friends...I was unhappy with me.
Me. I am my own worst enemy. Always have been. Always will be. But only I can save me from myself. All it takes is time.
Time. I am taking time to put me first. I am going to focus on myself, my dreams, my goals. It is not fair for me to ask those I love to wait for me or to change for me... So... I am letting go... and hopefully the saying is true.
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